Is It Love, or Love Bombing?

With Valentine's Day around the corner, romance is on our minds.

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By Paola de Varona, News Editor With Valentine's Day around the corner, romance is on our minds. And while we all love flowers, chocolates (Lindt or bust), and handwritten cards—when is it too much? If you've been watching the trending Netflix documentary Tinder Swindler, you'll know relationships can quickly sour, and even become dangerous. Today's Top Story How Do You Know If You're Being Love-Bombed? Imagine your life was a romantic comedy. You have your meet-cute at a coffee shop and a week later you two can't get enough of each other. The conversation flows, the vibes are right, and better yet, they're making it very clear they like you, too. Flowers keep arriving at your office and home. They're talking about introducing you to their family. They might even be saying it's true love.   While this might seem like just the beginnings of a whirlwind romance, this is known as "love bombing," or showing an amount of attention and affection that seems over-the-top for the beginning of a relationship. This dynamic has been trending across the internet lately. It can seem innocent. But love bombing is often the first stage in a cycle of narcissism, manipulation, and abuse.   It's often used as a tool to gain control over another person. Once that control is established, an about-face change in personality or level of attention will likely follow. Know More Why do people do it? Experts say it typically comes down to two major reasons. The first is a conscious desire to manipulate others which can be a sign of a narcissistic personality disorder.   The second is unconscious or unresolved attachment patterns formed in previous relationships. For example, someone with an insecure attachment style may fear a partner will abandon them and will love bomb in an effort to nail down the relationship quickly. Feel Better One way to distinguish between normal affection and love bombing is to keep your eye on the level of intensity. Does this person give you over-the-top love and then take it away? If so, this likely isn't the beginning of a strong relationship.   If you do notice someone is showering you with attention, but want to see if your relationship is salvageable, it's a good idea to stress that you're feeling overwhelmed.   "A healthy person will say, 'No problem, I can back off, I want you to feel comfortable,'" Lia Huynh, MS, LMFT, said. "A dysfunctional love bomber will gaslight you and make it your problem." READ MORE Having conversations about COVID-19 vaccination can make dating tricky nowadays. But according to a recent survey, half of young daters (18-40) say someone's vaccine status wouldn't deter them from going on a date. Lifting Mask Mandates Puts Vulnerable People in Danger Now that COVID cases are slowly declining, several states are lifting indoor mask mandates for vaccinated people. But Verywell writer Julia Métraux shares why this puts vulnerable people like her in danger. She has a condition—vasculitis—that puts her at high-risk for COVID complications. So do many other Americans. While vulnerable people can continue masking and following safety precautions, their efforts are likely fruitless if others are abandoning all measures. "If people who are high-risk for COVID-19 or are living with long COVID were more involved in the public health decision-making process, we would have a very different strategy," she writes. READ MORE 4 Factors May Make You More at Risk for Long COVID A recent study suggests that four factors may be linked to a higher likelihood of experiencing lingering COVID symptoms: a high viral load early in the infection, reactivation of the Epstein-Barr virus, having type 2 diabetes, and the presence of specific autoantibodies. The study is largely exploratory, which means there are no clear action items for healthcare professionals just yet. But this research is a crucial step in understanding how to prevent and treat these debilitating effects of the virus. READ MORE   You don't need to figure out how to have a healthy relationship alone. In an interview with Verywell, Lia Huynh, MS, LMFT, a relationship therapist in California, suggests you look for relationships you want to model in your own life. So many of us have dysfunctional relationship patterns because we didn't have good role models. We don't learn it in school—all we know is what we see around us. So find a good role model and learn from them. Lia Huynh, MS, LMFT A relationship therapist in California   Keep Reading   ■ New York City Might Have Rat COVID, But It's Probably Fine. Curbed     ■ Exercise May Enhance the Effects of a COVID or Flu Shot. The New York Times     ■ What Science Still Can't Explain About Love. Vox More From Verywell Is COVID Causing Broken Heart Syndrome? READ MORE What's a Covert Narcissist? READ MORE 3 Best Exercises for Heart Health READ MORE   How'd we do? If you have any feedback, send us a note at   feedback@verywell.com.       You are receiving this newsletter because you subscribed to the Verywell Health newsletter. If you wish to unsubscribe, please click here.   A DOTDASH MEREDITH BRAND 28 Liberty Street, 7th Floor, New York, NY, 10005   © 2022 verywellhealth.com - All rights reserved. Privacy Policy